Hey!
It's a beautiful blue sky day and I feel a whole lot better!
Maybe I will blah down to Bronte and pick up the movie for mommy.
Yeah for blah!
Ignore these baka posts! I think I shall delete them.
Or not. I can look back on just how depressed I was *-*
Hehe
Yeah so i can't find baka Lee Ann Womack's I hope you dance song!
Poo!
I'm staying inside
boo hoo
^-^

I'm back now.
You're not getting anything more about my life (not that you care.. not that *anyone* reads this* in fact if I actually thought someone was reading thsi I wouldn't write it!
Damn I'm so angry right now! I'm angry at my self at my doctors and at my mom for not respecting my wishes=p
I didn't want her to!
I'm not gonna say what cuz I'm a freakn' fraidy cat of the world!
I hate my doctor! She makes me feel so stupid!
Not that I'm not stupid. Yawn
I'm tired.
I hate the internet. Flase info!
Well yeah so I'm a complainer. Ignore all the crap I said last post.
Good bye!

You know I've been thinking lately.
5 years ago I became mysteriously sick.
No one knew what was wrong with me, they tested for everything from cancer to a brain tumour=p
I was only eleven so I didn't really know what was wrong or what could be wrong, and didn't seem to care, but somehow I became obsessed with those Lurlene McDaniel books. Incase anyone who's reading this and doesn't know what those books are about their usually about teens dealing with either life threatening illnesses or deaths.
They tried to show how life works out for people sometimes, and how some people can overcome certain obstacles.
I felt sorry for the characters in the books, and knew that it was happening to real people, but then I didn't even possibly think something like that could happen to me. I considered my "mysterious illness" just that. Nothing more.
I'd feel like I was floating sometimes, or not be able to get out of bed. I suffered terrible nausea and became anemic but until about 8th grade I just didn't seem to care.
6th-8th grade was hard. The kids at my elementary school were cruel. Especially since I was quiet and reserved due to plain tiredness. I wasn't even in class half the time.
And I guess I became depressed, and I actually wondered if I had to suffer with this sickness why not make it serious? Like in my books? Maybe everything would stop, all the pain, and loneliness. Or atleast I could have some sort of treatment and hide from the harshness of schoolwork, and the cruelty of students.
That was depression talking, and growing up into a teenager I guess.
I know I don't think that now. But it took awhile to get rid of that feeling. Cuz even my mother would say that. She ofcourse hoped it wasn't something serious but that the doctors could find out what it was and give me treatment. They matched sort of.

In 8th grade I almost failed.
In 9th I did Ok, but made next to no progress in the "quietness" department. The sickness was still there. It was always there.
Now in 10th at the end of the year I don't know whats going to happen.
At the begining of this year the doctors put me on anti-depression pills (prozac=p) as if whatever was wrong with me was only stress. I couldn't believe that because I got it before I had any sort of stress. I was a kid!
Before christmas my grandmother passed away.
I was very sad because I loved her very much. In fact before she herself became ill with parkinsons disease me and my cousin would be at her apartment all the time.
The worst thing is tho that the last time I had the chance to visit her I was in bed sick. So I didn't make the long trek with my mom.
If I had known I'd never see her again I would have gone... but I didn't.
I'm tired, I was going to explain more about my life but I just can't now.
What I wanted to actually get across with this is to show this blog.
It's inspiring and special.
I want to link to it someday.
Sooner or later I'll be back.
Bye

Daddy get your buns on the phone so mom has to pic you up and i can get my bookie!
We had speeches at our school today. Student council speeches. Some guy actually shot donouts out of a cannon. well he tried until mr. worrall stopped him.
Man am I tired. Tired but hyper!
We didn't do anything in school today
damn
I could've stayed home and felt sick, instead of going to school and feeling sick[=p
Yay!
Itsa true vibe cd relesse party! *dances*
Not liking now and forever tho=(
Oh well maybe when they play all the songs ill like em^-^
So far.... ok
Look at this! I love this to death!

isn't that amazing?
I thought so^-^
I luv true vibe now!
Yay!
Prayer meeting tomrrow!
I finished "On the bright side I'm now the girlfriend of a sex god" today!
Yay for me~!
Ok early to bed early to rise makes a girl eerlack=p